nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
