hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
