So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
