You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
