This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
