You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i've created a new STD.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
