Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
