Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
