She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
