I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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