imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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