I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
