The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
