It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
