I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
