That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
