the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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