man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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