Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
