I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
