so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
