I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
