I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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