you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
