Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
