it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
True college students do jello shots in the library
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
