That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
