Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
