Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
