it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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