Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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