She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
