hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
