I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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