i think my tv is drunk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
