YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
