all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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