I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
