have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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