That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
