a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I look better un-naked...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
