and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
