Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
