My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
