I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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