I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
