your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
