Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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