just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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