he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
