do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
