it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
