We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
