Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
