I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
